jokes

The Remedy for Bacon

Jewish Federation honors Bacon (news article)

David was a baal teshuvah. He was studying with a rabbi who was helping him to learn about Judaism and the Torah. He had made a lot of progress. He began to eat only kosher food, and he made an effort to keep Shabbos the best he could.

One morning, an irresistible smell wafted in through the vent. The neighbor in the apartment next door was cooking bacon. David couldn't help himself. He ran to the neighbor's door and knocked.

Seven Refrigerators

Kosher kitchen with two refrigerators

Mendel was making aliyah, so as a new immigrant to Israel, he was allowed to bring household items with him into the country without charge, duty-free. However, appliances that are brought in order to be sold are subject to an import duty (tax).

When Mendel arrived at the port office in Haifa to claim his household goods, the excise officer told him there was a problem.

"Only personal household items are allowed duty-free," the officer said.

"But I have only personal household items. What is the problem?" Mendel asked. » read more

Rabbinic Supervision (humor)

Empty plate, hands holding fork and knifeA rabbi was walking down the street when he saw Benny, a member of his synagogue, entering a non-kosher restaurant. Puzzled, he went closer to the restaurant and peeked in the window. "Perhaps he's just going in to ask for directions or use the toilet," the rabbi thought. But sure enough, he watched as Benny was escorted to a table. » read more

He is Messiah, But...

Heck Cattle, a recreated Aurochs-like speciesA rabbi was teaching his class about the days following the arrival of the Messiah. "At that time, the Messiah will slaughter the Shor Ha-Bor, the giant ox. The meat from this enormous beast will be enough to feed the entire world!" he said. » read more